Sunday, February 19, 2012

39 weeks and thoughts on motherhood

It is hard to believe we are so close to meeting this little person I've been growing and we made. The first 20 weeks were painfully slow, and then from 20-36 were incredibly fast. Blurry even. From 36 to now has been slower again. The slower pace has allowed me more introspection and reflection and thinking in general.

I'm not sure I've ever been faced with something as intimidating as becoming a mother. Second to becoming a mother would be becoming a wife. Today I reread my and Danny's patriarchal blessings which I'm sure I will continue to refer to these next few months (years?). So much happiness and love is promised to our family. Heavenly Father is clearly aware of my doubts and fears-the ones I had almost 8 years ago and the ones I face now. Our marriage is promised to be full of love and happiness as well. Such a tender mercy. Even in our short two years I have seen these promises come to fruition, and it is clear that our personal and family righteousness is directly intertwined with our happiness.

I'm so grateful that I will have both Danny and God by my side as I enter motherhood. Hopefully humility can be there too-I know I'll need a few servings of that!

On a lighter note, here I am at 39 weeks. My doctor estimates baby Brown is around 7, 7.5 lbs. As of last Monday I was almost 3cm and 60% effaced. He should be here soon-he MUST be here in a few weeks-but it's really too bad your progress in the weeks before don't mean anything. My doctor won't induce until 41 weeks and you can bet I'll take him up on that if I'm still pregnant in March. I'm not concerned at all since my body has begun the process already and my mom was induced 5 times without any subsequent complications (c section etc). Fingers crossed he comes this week, but at the latest it should be March 4/5.

Can't wait to meet you dude!!